FREE online courses on Etiquette in Business - Good Manners
And Good Mixers
When one thinks of a man who is known in politics and business as a “good
mixer,” one is apt to think of him as a rough diamond rather than a polished
one. In picturing a gentleman, a man of high cultivation, one instinctively
thinks of one who is somewhat aloof and apart. A good mixer among uncouth men
may quite accurately be one who is also uncouth; but the best “mixer” of all is
one who adjusts himself equally well to finer as well as to plainer society.
Education that does not confer flexibility of mind is an obviously limited
education; the man of broadest education tunes himself in unison with whomever
he happens to be. The more subjects he knows about, the more people he is in
sympathy with, and therefore the more customers or associates or constituents he
is sure to have.
The really big man-it makes little difference whether he was born with a gold
spoon in his mouth or no spoon at all-is always one whose interest in people,
things, and events is a stimulating influence upon all those he comes in contact
with.
He who says, “That does not interest me,” or “That bores me,” defines his own
limitations. He who is unable to project sympathy into other problems or classes
than his own is an unimportant person though he have the birth of a Cecil and
the manners of a Chesterfield. Every gentleman has an inalienable right to his
own reserves-that goes without saying-and because he can project sympathy and
understanding where and when he chooses, does not for one moment mean that he
thereby should break down the walls of his instinctive defenses.
It is not the latter type, but the “Gentleman Limited” who has belittled the
name of “gentleman” in the world of work; not so much because he is a gentleman,
as because he is not entirely one. He who is every inch a gentleman as well as
every inch a man is the highest type in the world to-day, just as he has
always been. The do-nothing gentleman is equally looked down upon everywhere.
