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With People - Be Candid
A school boy was going out on his first date, to a school dance. His mother
offered the advice to help him over his nervousness before he left: " Raja, both
you and the young girl may be a little nervous on the first date. Be sure to put
her at case." How do I do that Morn? Simply! compliment her on
something." After the dance, as Raja drove the young girl home, he suddenly
realized that he did not compliment her so far. He had this to say after racking
his brain for a while. " Roja, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat so much."
Good try, poor results. A high score on honesty but look at the consequent
relationship between Raja and Roja. You need not be brutally frank when saying
things.
People, surely, are not interested in peeping into your innermost chambers. If
you open up that way, as Raja did, you would impair relationships permanently.
Candidness and openness imply honest exchange of opinions, facts, concerns,
thoughts - nothing more, nothing less. Bluntness blended with tact and
diplomacy should guide actions. The action should
reflect your concern and love and at the same time be appropriate for the
occasion. Instead of cursing a husband who is glued to the television set on
weekends, the wife should certainly find a way to say: "Sweetheart, I miss your
company badly throughout the week. Could we plan to go to somewhere this
weekend?" Better lop off phrases such as " you never take me anywhere", "you
forget the world when cricket is on.
Such tactless, critical expressions only produce angry reactions and spoil the
whole day. Tact is one thing and expression is another thing. How you reveal
yourself is also important. A group of parents living adjacent to a super-high
way were alarmed at the recklessness and speed of the lines. Their appeals to
municipal officials and police brought no relief. One parent, after lot of
brainstorming, came out with a sign to be posted at two nearby intersections."
Slow Down for Miss India's House." Traffic slowed down to a feeble walk!
