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Through this portal pass
the greatest words and nerds on the web. That’s our proud claim, borne out
by the extra effort we have to make in trying to un-educate you.
As your IQ level guarantees you membership till at least 2020 A.D. (or
your dismemberment after that, take your pick) please tell your friends
(spiders not included, web notwithstanding – we suffer from arachnophobia)
about OLW.
We are especially keen to
hear from asylum seekers (your sister says you shouldn’t be seen around
the house all day) and the brainless. We have plenty of brainy people
here, so there’s enough to go around. In fact, there’s brains all over the
place!...?? Say, what’s that .357 magnum Smith & Wesson doing on the
floor? And whose brains are those on the ceiling? These donors; such
impatience!!
P.S. Surgeon General’s Warning!!!
OLW is highly contagious,
infectious, hazardous and habit-forming. Surfers to take all necessary
precautions and surf in pairs (not ‘pair-off’, stupid. That means
something else we can’t print right here). Memorizing Dad’s credit card
number is highly recommended. The Attorney General saves dollars by asking
we print his message as well....no claims for lost net boards, sanity or
brains will be entertained. The ORACLE of Delphi may be consulted on the
matter, but be careful of all the broken WINDOWS en route.
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