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Polish That Is Unsuspected
The president of a great industry, whose mastery of etiquette is one of his
chief assets, so submerges this asset in other and more apparent qualifications,
that every plain man he comes in contact with takes it for granted that he is an
equally “plain” man himself. He is plain in so far as he is
straightforward in attitude and simple in manner. No red tape is required
apparently to penetrate into this president's private office, whereas many
“small” men are guarded with pretentiousness that is often an effort to give an
impression of “importance.”
In this big man's employ there is an especial assistant chosen purposely because
of his tact and good manners. If an unknown person asks to see Mr. President,
this deputy is sent out (as from most offices) to find out what the visitor's
business is; but instead of being told bluntly the boss doesn't know him and
can't see him, the visitor is made to feel how much the president will regret
not seeing him. Perhaps he is told, “Mr. President is in conference just now. I
know he would not like you to be kept waiting; can I be of any service to you? I
am his junior assistant.” If the visitor's business is really with the
president, he is admitted to the chief executive's office, since it is the
latter's policy to see every one that he can.
He has a courteous manner that makes every one feel there is nothing in the
day's work half so important as what his visitor has come to see him about! Nor
is this manner insincere; for whatever time one sees him, he gives his undivided
attention. Should his time be short, and the moment approach when he is due at
an appointment, his secretary enters, a purposely arranged ten minutes ahead of
the time necessary for the close of the present interview, and apologetically
reminds him, “I'm sorry, Mr. President, but your appointment with the ‘Z'
committee is due.” Mr. President with seeming unconcern, uses up most of the ten
minutes, and his lingering close of the conversation gives his visitor the
impression that he must have been late at his appointment, and wholly because of
the unusual interest felt in his caller.
This is neither sincerity nor insincerity, but merely bringing social knowledge
into business dealing. To make a pleasant and friendly impression is not alone
good manners, but equally good business. The crude man would undoubtedly show
his eagerness to be rid of his visitor, and after offending the latter's
self-pride because of his inattentive discourtesy, be late for his own
appointment! The man of skill saw his visitor for fewer actual minutes, but gave
the impression that circumstances over which he had no control forced him
unwillingly to close the interview. He not only gained the good will of his
visitor, but arrived at his own appointment in plenty of time.
To listen attentively when one is spoken to, is merely one of the rules of
etiquette. The man who, while some one is talking to him, gazes out of the
window or up at the ceiling, who draws squares and circles on the blotter, or is
engrossed in his finger-nails or his shoes, may in his own mind be “finessing,”
or very likely he is bored! In the first case, the chances are he will lose the
game; in the second, lots of people are bored, hideously bored, and most often
the fault is their own; always they are at fault who show it.
